a furious wind

In my scripture study today, I read in Ether 6 and the following verses stood out in a way they haven't before:

5 And it came to pass that the Lord God caused that there should be a furious wind blow upon the face of the waters, towards the promised land; and thus they were tossed upon the waves of the sea before the wind.
 6 And it came to pass that they were many times buried in the depths of the sea, because of the mountain waves which broke upon them, and also the great and terrible tempests which were caused by the fierceness of the wind.
 7 And it came to pass that when they were buried in the deep there was no water that could hurt them, their vessels being tight like unto a dish, and also they were tight like unto the ark of Noah; therefore when they were encompassed about by many waters they did cry unto the Lord, and he did bring them forth again upon the top of the waters.
 8 And it came to pass that the wind did never cease to blow towards the promised land while they were upon the waters; and thus they were driven forth before the wind.
 9 And they did sing praises unto the Lord; yea, the brother of Jared did sing praises unto the Lord, and he did thank and praise the Lord all the day long; and when the night came, they did not cease to praise the Lord.
 10 And thus they were driven forth; and no monster of the sea could break them, neither whale that could mar them; and they did have light continually, whether it was above the water or under the water. (emphasis added)

 As I read this, it struck me that the wind is described as "furious" and "fierce"--how uncomfortable it must have been in those barges, being pushed by the wind and tossed and turned in the waves. And yet, it is the very furiousness of the wind that takes them towards the promised land and takes them there more quickly. We can think of our trials as being like this--they don't need to be obstacles that block us from arriving at our destination (although I think they can be obstacles depending on how we react to them). Instead of obstacles, trials and difficulties can be the very means of arriving at our destination. If our goal in mortality is to become like God--to follow Christ's example and emulate his attributes--then what better way to arrive than experience tempests and difficulties that test our patience, brotherly kindness, humility, and other Christlike attributes?

I'm also impressed by the fact that, despite the furious wind, these people were protected--no water could hurt them, no monster of the sea could break them, neither whale could mar them. Instead, they had light continually. As a result of preparing for their journey, these people were ready to meet the storms. God gave them a secure ship and light to live by.

He gives me the same.

charity, self-esteem, and shared identity

Recently, I read Falling to Heaven by James L. Farrell. I've previously read Farrell's The Peacegiver and The Holy Secret. I'm always impressed by his insights into the gospel. Most of what he writes is so common sense and it's all scripturally based, but some of the insights still take me by surprise.

In the introduction (or is it the first chapter?) of Falling to Heaven, Farrell makes a point that has fundamentally changed the way I think about charity. He shares an experience about sitting in a sacrament meeting talk one day where the speaker was emphasizing the importance of loving ourselves. He asked himself where in the scriptures we are encouraged to love ourselves. He also spent a lot of time post-hearing-this-talk looking for references in the scriptures to Christ's self-love.

He couldn't find any.

The only scripture he found that could be read as referring to self-love was the oft-repeated commandment to love others as we love ourselves (the implication being that we must love ourselves if we're going to love others). Farrell suggests that Christ wasn't at all concerned with loving himself, but only with loving His Father and with loving us. When the scriptures talk about loving others as we love ourselves, it's referring to the fact that we must see others' pain as our own and celebrate others' accomplishments as our own--not that we need to focus on self-love. In other words, we need to seek to be so unified with the people around us--have our hearts knit together so closely with theirs--that there isn't a difference between what happens to them and what happens to us. This is what God's love for us is about: He fully experiences our pain as His own pain. His sense of self is broad enough to include all others--it looks outward, not inward.

Now, being the rhetoric nerd that I am, this concept immediately brought to mind Kenneth Burke's concept of identification. Burke writes that identification is about seeing what is alike between yourself and another person or an entire group of people. There is one major obstacle to identification, however, according to Burke: “[A]lthough I as a person may sympathetically identify myself with other people’s pleasures and pains, in my nature as a sheer body the pleasures of my food and the pains of my toothache are experienced by me alone” ("The Rhetorical Situation," Communication: Ethical and Moral Issues, 265-66). Because we inhabit separate bodies, we can't fully identify with one another. This is one of challenges of living in mortality in a physical body.

But the miracle of the Atonement is that one separate, individual body (the body of Christ) was able to fully inhabit and experience the separate, individual pains of billions of people. Christ bridged the gap of the inability of one body to connect with another body. He is one with the Father and Holy Ghost, and He can be one with us, as he prayed for in his intercessory prayer, if we will follow His example and receive His love.

How do we receive? I think we have to be willing to love as He did. We have to live the two great commandments. We have to lose ourselves in loving and serving God and others in order to find ourselves. This is why Moroni writes so urgently that we need to pray with all energy of heart for the love of Christ. Charity helps us to find better versions of ourselves. In loving others and following Christ, we become the children of Christ--part of his family. We take upon ourselves His identity--quite literally: we take upon ourselves His name--and in so doing we become one with Him and the Father. It's this perfect and complete connection with God and those around us that constitutes true charity. It's also what I believe heaven will be all about.

Wrapping up Boston

I'm leaving Boston for Dublin in just a few short hours! I thought I should wrap up my discussion of Boston before I forget all about it in the next few weeks.

On Thursday, I saw the awesome Boston Public Library, considered taking the eucharist at the Trinity Church but decided against it, and walked most of the Freedom Trail while clutching some Dunkin' Donuts mint hot chocolate (it was chilly). The Freedom Trail was fun. I saw lots of interesting historical sites--many of which were related to Paul Revere and his midnight ride.

After the Freedom Trail, I met up with Patrick and we went to Regina's Pizzeria in the North End. Apparently lots of famous people have eaten there. I know this because their signed photos were on the wall. Rob Lowe and Leonardo DiCaprio apparently think it's the best pizza in the world. I thought it was pretty good. We had a pesto pollo pizza. It had a little too much ricotta cheese for my taste.

After dinner, we went to the famous Mike's Pastries and got some canolis. Yum. But all that ricotta cheese made me feel a little sick. We tried going to to the Bunker Hill monument but it was really cold and the visitor's center was closed, so we ended up just chilling and watching a really bad 70s movie called The Andromeda Strain. I wasn't a fan, but it was entertaining and a nice end to a tiring day.

Friday, I went the Boston Museum of Fine Arts. I saw works from Monet, Van Gogh, Picasso, Degas, Sargent, etc. You know. No big deal. I also really enjoyed the exhibit on mummies and the contemporary art. I was there for three hours but didn't see nearly enough. I assuaged my disappointment by reminding myself that I have four more weeks of vacation and lots more art museums to visit.

After the MFA, I went to lunch with Patrick at CPK and then we went shopping. I love H&M. We finished off the evening at a Star Wars party with some people from Patrick's ward; it was May the Fourth after all (which I only found out recently is a thing). We watched The Empire Strikes Back. And had some incredibly awesome guacamole.

Goodbye, Boston. It's been fun.

My blogging might be a little more sporadic/non-exist over the next week while I'm in Ireland and England. I probably won't have access to a computer and I don't know how up I'll be for blogging from my iPod Touch.

Concord, MA

Today involved lots of geeking out and extreme amounts of excitement: I visited Concord, MA, home of Louisa May Alcott. My love for Little Women is so deep, personal and abiding that I have a hard time explaining it to other people. Visiting Orchard House was an experience beyond my capacity to fully describe.

I've been pretty low-key, zen even, about my trip so far. I'm not too intent on seeing anything and if things have fallen through, I haven't really cared. The only things I've insisted I needed to see while I was out here were Orchard House and Walden Pond. I knew I was excited to see these things, but even I was surprised at my own enthusiasm today. Just driving into Concord and seeing the streets got my adrenaline going. I couldn't stop smiling when I saw Orchard House appear through the trees. I made my friend take several pictures of me standing in front of the house before we even found the entrance to the visitor's center. I also texted one of these pictures to each of my eight siblings, so they could know I was experiencing such a momentous moment (redundant, but whatevs).

There were only four of us on the tour and it was the first time through the home for all of us. As we were introducing ourselves, one of the women there said, "It's kind of a really big deal for me to be here, so if I start crying, don't worry." I laughed, but mostly because I understood that I might burst into tears at any moment as well.

The house was lovely, although very different inside than the one featured in the Winona Ryder movie. The outside was essentially the same, but the inside was set up differently. The highlight of the tour was seeing the actual desk where Little Women was written. I don't know why it matters so much to see the desk, but it did. I stared at it for a good long while.

In the course of the tour, I learned a few interesting things I hadn't known before:

• The real Meg, Anna Alcott, was an actress who met her husband, John, while performing opposite him in a play in Concord.

• The real Amy, May, was an accomplished enough artist that hers was the only work by an American woman accepted in a prestigious French art exhibition.

• May was also the first art teacher of Daniel Chester French, sculptor of the Lincoln Memorial.

• The Winona Ryder movie was actually filmed in Alaska.

Okay, that last part is probably not true, but our tour guide did say that--even though she followed it up with a "Actually, that's not true."

After Orchard House, we saw Sleepy Hollow cemetery where Thoreau, Emerson, and Alcott are all buried. (Daniel Chester French is actually buried there too.) It was really creepy in an awesome way and I was glad I wasn't there alone and it wasn't dark. We were even approached by a man carrying around a black cat who wanted to tell us more about Daniel Chester French. Odd. But I loved it.

We followed up the cemetery with lunch at a little cafe, a quick drive-by look at the Old North Bridge ("the shot heard round the world"), and then a visit to Walden Pond.

I loved Walden Pond. It's huge and beautiful and I can see why Henry David moved down there. I was ready to move into the nearby woods myself. His little shanty looked quite comfortable (actually, it was just a replica--the real one was disassembled for use as firewood and the roof of it was put on a pigsty--really). Maybe I'll build my own up Provo Canyon. It would solve my I-don't-know-where-I'm-going-to-live-this-fall problem so nicely. "I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately . . . " I could do that for two years and two months and two days.

I wish I could post some of the lovely pictures I took there, but alas. You'll see them soon.

Tomorrow, I'll actually go into Boston proper!

Cambridge, MA

So, I've spent most of the past couple of days in Cambridge, MA. I love it. There are so many old houses and buildings and lots of red brick--it's just so pretty and old.

On Monday, I had a lazy morning trying to take care of stuff for Europe (like calling my bank and telling them not to freeze my cards when I start spending money in Dublin), and then met up with my friend Patrick for lunch in Harvard Square.

We went to a sandwich place called Darwin's. (I took a nice picture of myself standing in front of it which I would post if I had access to a computer with an SD card slot.) We both had portobello mushroom, mozzarella, basil sandwiches (so good) and ate them in a little grassy area along Mt. Auburn Ave (Or was it Mt. Auburn Street? I don't know actually). After that, we visited the Mt. Auburn Cemetery where I took pictures of EVERYTHING. Lots of headstone and flower pictures--pictures that no one but me will ever want to look at. Again, I'd post them for you but I don't have a camera USB cord or a computer with an SD card slot.

We spent about two hours wandering around the cemetery. Apparently, it's the first landscaped cemetery in the United States. It was beautiful--peaceful and quiet. There are a lot of famous people buried there, most of whom I'd never heard of. But we did look at the graves of some people whose names I recognized: Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Mary Baker Eddy (founder of Christian Science), and Edwin Booth (brother of John Wilkes Booth and one of the most famous Shakespearean actors in 1860s America).

In the middle of the cemetery is a tower that you can climb and see an awesome view of Cambridge and Boston.

After our cemetery-ing, Patrick showed me around Harvard campus and we headed back to Harvard Square where we got dark hot chocolate at Barlick's (YUM) and looked around the Harvard Coop--Harvard's university bookstore that is run by Barnes & Noble (I know, right).

Later, we met up with Patrick's bible study friends, Tom and Courtney, for dinner at a place called India Castle. It was delicious.

Today was rainy and overcast, so we didn't actually go to Walden Pond or Orchard House (that will happen tomorrow!). But Sarah and I did do a session at the Boston Temple (which was really pretty). We also ate at Chipotle (shout out to Gina & Rebecca!), ran errands at Target, and went to J. P. Lick's, an ice cream place in Harvard Square. I had chocolate pretzel ice cream. Again, yum. (I love food.)

Sarah dropped me off at the Harvard Coop where I read poetry while waiting to meet up with my friend Natalie. I came across this amazing poem that I think I'm going to make copies of and pass out to students who ask me if they missed anything important when they were absent from my class.

Natalie and I went to a concert by Kioi Sinfonietta Tokyo, who I guess were in America for the Japan-U.S. Cherry Blossom Centennial. It was a beautiful concert that took place in beautiful concert hall on campus. The concert hall was in the same building where the Harvard freshman dining hall is located. BYU's Cannon Center has a lot of room for improvement.

After the concert, Natalie and I grabbed dinner at a cool little place on Harvard Square. I can't remember what it was called, but we had hummus and red lentil soup. So good.

And now I'm seriously considering moving to Cambridge.