holds upon happiness

“What beautiful hyacinths! I have just learnt to love a hyacinth.”

“And how might you learn? By accident or argument?”

“Your sister taught me; I cannot tell how. Mrs. Allen used to take pains, year after year, to make me like them; but I never could, till I saw them the other day in Milsom Street; I am naturally indifferent about flowers.”

“But now you love a hyacinth. So much the better. You have gained a new source of enjoyment, and it is well to have as many holds upon happiness as possible."

--Catherine Morland and Henry Tilney in Jane Austen's Northanger Abbey

Some things that I love doing are . . .

Having tea time with my roommate Michelle and anyone else who decides to join us.

Cleaning a room.

Eating chocolate. Or ice cream. Or guacamole with lime chips. Or salsa with lime chips. Or Thai food. Food brings me lots and lots of happiness.

Teaching at BYU.

Meeting with students to discuss their concerns about class and life.

Reading. I've long loved reading novels, but recent years have taught me to love reading poetry, compositional and rheotrical theory, nonfiction, and the news (especially opinion pieces).

Listening to NPR, the Mormon Channel, and other podcasts.

Sitting outside in the hour before sunset.

Being awake in the still of the early morning.

Talking with my family.

Sitting in the Celestial Room of any temple.

Emailing and receiving emails from my family (oh those delightful family email chains . . . ).

Visiting cemeteries. (I learned this one over the summer while visiting cemeteries in Massachusetts, Europe, and small Utah towns. Thanks, Sam.)

Writing journal entries, lists, thank you notes, blog posts, and, yes, even assignment sheets.

Getting absorbed in a meaningful conversation.

Laughing with good friends.

Listening in on strangers' conversations.

Browsing through books in a bookstore, touching the spines and feeling the pages, hmmming and smiling over the excerpts I read.

To me, each of these things is about an experience of calm. All of them cause me to slow down and reflect on how rich and good my life actually is and how kind and wonderful the people are around me really are and how numerous and personal my gifts from God have been. And maybe that's what happiness is? The experience of stopping to see the reality of the good God has woven into your life?

This e. e. cummings' poem captures my gratitude for these experiences well:

i thank You God for most this amazing 

day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees 

and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything 

which is natural which is infinite which is yes 

Yes.

Concord, MA

Today involved lots of geeking out and extreme amounts of excitement: I visited Concord, MA, home of Louisa May Alcott. My love for Little Women is so deep, personal and abiding that I have a hard time explaining it to other people. Visiting Orchard House was an experience beyond my capacity to fully describe.

I've been pretty low-key, zen even, about my trip so far. I'm not too intent on seeing anything and if things have fallen through, I haven't really cared. The only things I've insisted I needed to see while I was out here were Orchard House and Walden Pond. I knew I was excited to see these things, but even I was surprised at my own enthusiasm today. Just driving into Concord and seeing the streets got my adrenaline going. I couldn't stop smiling when I saw Orchard House appear through the trees. I made my friend take several pictures of me standing in front of the house before we even found the entrance to the visitor's center. I also texted one of these pictures to each of my eight siblings, so they could know I was experiencing such a momentous moment (redundant, but whatevs).

There were only four of us on the tour and it was the first time through the home for all of us. As we were introducing ourselves, one of the women there said, "It's kind of a really big deal for me to be here, so if I start crying, don't worry." I laughed, but mostly because I understood that I might burst into tears at any moment as well.

The house was lovely, although very different inside than the one featured in the Winona Ryder movie. The outside was essentially the same, but the inside was set up differently. The highlight of the tour was seeing the actual desk where Little Women was written. I don't know why it matters so much to see the desk, but it did. I stared at it for a good long while.

In the course of the tour, I learned a few interesting things I hadn't known before:

• The real Meg, Anna Alcott, was an actress who met her husband, John, while performing opposite him in a play in Concord.

• The real Amy, May, was an accomplished enough artist that hers was the only work by an American woman accepted in a prestigious French art exhibition.

• May was also the first art teacher of Daniel Chester French, sculptor of the Lincoln Memorial.

• The Winona Ryder movie was actually filmed in Alaska.

Okay, that last part is probably not true, but our tour guide did say that--even though she followed it up with a "Actually, that's not true."

After Orchard House, we saw Sleepy Hollow cemetery where Thoreau, Emerson, and Alcott are all buried. (Daniel Chester French is actually buried there too.) It was really creepy in an awesome way and I was glad I wasn't there alone and it wasn't dark. We were even approached by a man carrying around a black cat who wanted to tell us more about Daniel Chester French. Odd. But I loved it.

We followed up the cemetery with lunch at a little cafe, a quick drive-by look at the Old North Bridge ("the shot heard round the world"), and then a visit to Walden Pond.

I loved Walden Pond. It's huge and beautiful and I can see why Henry David moved down there. I was ready to move into the nearby woods myself. His little shanty looked quite comfortable (actually, it was just a replica--the real one was disassembled for use as firewood and the roof of it was put on a pigsty--really). Maybe I'll build my own up Provo Canyon. It would solve my I-don't-know-where-I'm-going-to-live-this-fall problem so nicely. "I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately . . . " I could do that for two years and two months and two days.

I wish I could post some of the lovely pictures I took there, but alas. You'll see them soon.

Tomorrow, I'll actually go into Boston proper!

a blue true dream of sky

i thank You God for most this amazing 
by e. e. cummings

i thank You God for most this amazing
day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun's birthday; this is the birth
day of life and of love and wings: and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any--lifted from the no
of all nothing--human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)


This poem makes me so happy. I've just about memorized it simply from reading it over and over again in the past few weeks. It's the perfect poem for all this spring weather, and it reminds me of how lovely things really are. Enjoy.

were you there?

indian curry wrap

For lunch this afternoon, I gathered together all the vegetables and leftover things in my fridge that I needed to use before they went bad and started experimenting. The result was this curry concoction:
 

Feel free to salivate.

This dish was inspired by two different curry recipes that my roommate and I have cooked up over the past couple of weeks. I sort of mixed the recipes together, and BAM, the Indian Curry Wrap was born.

To recreate this deliciousness, you'll need:

2 medium red potatoes
1/2 medium yellow onion
1 zucchini
1-2 tbsp coconut oil or olive oil
1/2 tsp mustard seeds
1/2 tsp ground coriander
1/2 tsp turmeric
1/2 tsp chili powder
1/2 tsp curry power (yellow)
1/2 tsp ground ginger
Salt to taste
3/4 cups of black-eyed peas
2 roma tomatoes

(Note: I'm mostly guesstimating on the amounts here--particularly with the spices: I mostly just threw stuff in until it seemed good and in amounts that seemed to work.)

Instructions:
Cut the potatoes into bite-sized pieces and put them in a small saucepan to boil. Chop the zucchini and onion and saute them in about a tablespoon of coconut oil (or olive oil) with the mustard seed in a wok or large saucepan. When the onions are slightly cooked, add the coriander, turmeric, chili powder, curry powder, and ginger. Cook for 4-5 minutes. Add black-eyed peas. Cook for 3 minutes. Add boiled potatoes and chopped fresh roma tomatoes. Saute for 1-2 minutes. Add salt to taste.

I served this with hummus in a tortilla, as pictured below (yay Costco tortillas), but I'm sure it would be good over rice or quinoa as well.

Enjoy!

Best commercial ever?

I think possibly yes.

Happiness is

a free cupcake packaged with a fork and a napkin in a cute white box, offered to you by a friendly Cocoa Bean employee as you walk home from school.

Thank you, Cocoa Bean.

Mmmmmmmyummy.

Life is good

After talking to many lovely library people who couldn't figure out what was wrong with my account, a simple password change has finally restored my interlibrary loan privileges.

Thank you, lovely library people.

Now I have no excuse for not getting some good work done on my thesis this month.

Wahoo.

I think I'm in love

Hey, folks, here's some pictures of me with my lovely new (used) 2002 Oldsmobile Alero. Don't be too jealous.

After two years of driving a 1994 stick-shift Toyota Corolla that broke down as often as the weather changes in Utah, I have finally moved on. It was a rough break up (break down?) with the Corolla (it practically exploded on me--seriously, red fluids and all--before it retired to the junk yard), but I feel good about this new relationship. I must say, it's nice to be able to drive some place without wondering when/where the engine will suddenly stop.

Any ideas on names for this baby?

Validation

:)

Why you should be an idealist

Viktor Frankl: Why to believe in others | Video on TED.com

Believing in others more than they deserve makes them better than they are.

The enabling power of the Atonement

I was reading a great talk today by Elder David A. Bednar (which you can find here). The whole talk is good, but I especially loved this passage:

"Nephi is an example of one who knew and understood and relied upon the enabling power of the Savior. In 1 Nephi chapter 7 we recall that the sons of Lehi had returned to Jerusalem to enlist Ishmael and his household in their cause. Laman and others in the party traveling with Nephi from Jerusalem back to the wilderness rebelled, and Nephi exhorted his brethren to have faith in the Lord. It was at this point in their trip that Nephi's brothers bound him with cords and planned his destruction. Now please note Nephi's prayer in verse 17:

"'O Lord, according to my faith which is in thee, wilt thou deliver me from the hands of my brethren; yea, even give me strength that I may burst these bands with which I am bound' (emphasis added).

"Now brothers and sisters, do you know what I likely would have prayed for if I had been tied up by my brothers? My prayer would have included a request for something bad to happen to my brothers and ended with the phrase "wilt thou deliver me from the hands of my brethren" or, in other words, "Please get me out of this mess, NOW!" It is especially interesting to me that Nephi did not pray, as I probably would have prayed, to have his circumstances changed. Rather, he prayed for the strength to change his circumstances. And may I suggest that he prayed in this manner precisely because he knew and understood and had experienced the enabling power of the atonement of the Savior.

"I personally do not believe the bands with which Nephi was bound just magically fell from his hands and wrists. Rather, I suspect he was blessed with both persistence and personal strength beyond his natural capacity, that he then "in the strength of the Lord" (Mosiah 9:17) worked and twisted and tugged on the cords and ultimately and literally was enabled to break the bands.

"Brothers and sisters, the implication of this episode for each of us is quite straightforward. As you and I come to understand and employ the enabling power of the atonement in our personal lives, we will pray and seek for strength to change our circumstances rather than praying for our circumstances to be changed. We will become agents who act rather than objects that are acted upon (2 Nephi 2:14)."

I love the concept that God, instead of changing our circumstances (which He easily could do), more often gives us the strength to internally change and meet the challenges in our lives. Facing challenges allows us to develop the attributes we need to become like God and act for ourselves. If God simply removed our trials, we would not be able to become the people He wants us to become. We wouldn't become those people because, if everything were always easy and burdens were always lifted, we would have no need to display Christlike attributes like patience, temperance, and endurance. This is why prayers pleading for relief from trials sometimes go unanswered.

God wants us to develop the strength and character to overcome trials, not just the faith to pray for deliverance. This doesn't mean, however, that He leaves us to fight our way through mortality alone. Rather, He blesses us with the enabling power of Jesus Christ to give us the capacity to overcome our trials.

Good talk

"Remember Lot's Wife" by Elder Holland re-aired today on Channel 11. You can read, watch, or listen here.

Fairy tales

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf gave a really great talk in the Young Women's session of General Conference about once-upon-a-times and happily-ever-afters. I recommend watching it.

A particularly good insight from President Uchtdorf (or, as my niece would say, Presnent Uchdort)--

"It is your reaction to adversity, not the adversity itself, that determines how your life story will develop."

happy thought #1

Check this out.

back from the dead

I realize I haven't written in here for many months. Mostly, this is because I feel that a blog post requires that I say something clever, thoughtful, or existential. Unfortunately, I haven't had anything to say along those lines. Hence, the silence. As I was re-thinking my blog this morning, I decided to shift my focus. Rather than trying to be creative and English-major-y, I will use this blog as a place to put out simple, happy thoughts. I will not be clever. And it goes without saying that existentialism will no longer fit the mold.

The hope I have now is that this means I'll always have something to say. If I ever go many more months without posting, however, it most likely will mean I am in the midst of a deep depression, and you should probably bring me cookies. Chocolate chip, preferably.

my happy place

i find my happy place when

(1) i use em dashes or brackets in my writing.

(2) i read.

(3) i sit and think of nothing.

(4) i lowercase everything.

(5) i let myself get hyper.

(6) i realize i'm putting off homework and it doesn't bother me.

(7) i listen to music. loudly.

(8) i laugh.

Joining the craze

This is the obligatory "I'm joining the blogging craze" post to announce what is already obvious: I have created a blog. Whether or not I maintain this blog will be another story, but I am starting to feel left out of the family. Out of my eight brothers and sisters and two in-laws, seven have blogs. Not to mention roommates and friends. It seemed appropriate to cave into the peer pressure. So here it is: my blog.

I would like to start this first post by being positive, hence I will begin by enumerating the many good things about my life. First on the list, only one month left of Fall semester. This is happy. This means the end of my Spanish class. Second good thing: I get to read Emma for homework this week. Third: my roommate made mint brownies and I've been chowing down on them. Fourth: I had a conversation with Ananda tonight about proper Black English grammar and the habitual be. I can only have conversations like this with Ananda, and it makes me happy.

Yes, life is good.