power, love, and a sound mind

I've been pondering lately on this scripture found in 2 Timothy 1:7: "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

I find this scripture comforting because it reminds me that when I'm afraid to move forward in my life or I'm stressed over trials I'm experiencing, the fear I feel can't come from God. God is love and perfect love casteth out all fear.

I'm a worrier. If you know me at all, you've probably picked up on this trait of mine. One of the things I worry most about is figuring out what to do with my life--on a day-to-day, year-to-year, and even decade-to-decade basis. I keep trying to map things out so I know where I'll be, or where I should be, in five or ten years--or at least tomorrow. I'm not an obsessive planner (in fact, although I keep a planner, I often forget to look at it), but I just like to feel secure--to know what's coming--to be able to picture where life is headed.

Unfortunately, I've long been in a stage of life where you can't really count on how things will go. I still try, however. This often leads me to pray and ponder about the next step in my life and frequently second guess whether my impressions are from the Spirit or from my own head. I'm afraid of missteps and mistakes. But God in recent months has been trying to teach me to be more flexible and more trusting.

This scripture reminds me that my fear and my worry can't have their source in God, so what I imagine are spiritual warnings and premonitions about what will go wrong are really my own worries demanding to be front and center. In contrast to this, God works through power, love, and a sound mind. And I find these things come more plentifully into my life when I stop trying to see ahead--when I allow one step to be enough for me.

Power, love, and a sound mind are most available in present moments. God isn't always willing to tell me whether or not I'll get into PhD programs or when I'll have a family, but He is always willing to tell me what to do with this moment--how to act in the next hour, or the next minute. Of course He wants me to act for myself and He mercifully doesn't direct every action and every decision (how would we learn to act for ourselves and not be acted upon?), but He will, if I let Him, guide me to where I need to be when I need to be there. He'll give me the strength to teach one class, the ability to help one student, and the love to be patient and listening when I want to be selfish and talking. He'll always help me know that I can do for people around me, even if the direction of my own life isn't yet clear. He's willing to give me the power, love, and soundness of mind to act in His service and to become a little more like Him.

And that's enough to take the fear and worry away in the present.