A lie

Says motivational speaker Denis Waitley,

“Procrastination is the fear of success. People procrastinate because they are afraid of the success that they know will result if they move ahead now. Because success is heavy, carries a responsibility with it, it is much easier to procrastinate and live on the 'someday I’ll' philosophy.”

Denis Waitley, I disagree.

Procrastination is not the fear of success: it is the fear of failure. It might also be the fear of unpleasant hard work. But it is not the fear of success. I do not procrastinate writing seminar papers and chunks of my thesis because I'm thinking, "Man, if I move ahead on this now, I will succeed and dazzle my professor, and, oh, wouldn't that be frightening?"

No, no, Denis.

I procrastinate because I'm thinking, "If I write this now and turn in the ideas currently floating around in my head, my professor will finally know that I'm a phony who has nothing really interesting to say. So, rather than writing a flop, I'll blog or check my email."

Because, really, who can fail at checking email?

Thesis-ing

In today's all-day, thesis-writing binge, I have

read a lot,
written a little,
eaten probably a pound of chocolate and two bowls of curry,
visited Facebook only a couple of times,
and chugged two* mugs of herbal tea.

Oh, and I showered, got ready, and put on make-up.

Not bad, eh?

*Addendum at 10:25pm: Make that three mugs of herbal tea.

End of the road?

When I was about fifteen, I planned out my life. I would study English Teaching in college, serve a mission, and go to graduate school. And then . . . ? I'd just figure out the next step.

Aside from changing my undergraduate major from English Teaching to English just after my mission, I've stuck to the plan. But, here I am, nearly at the end, and not quite sure what comes next.

So what do you do when your teenage wisdom runs out of steam? I feel a little lost, here at the end of the things I knew for sure I would do. I can now move anywhere and do anything that a Master's degree in English qualifies me for (which is, shockingly and surprisingly, very little). What now?

Suggestions?

"I'm getting upset!"

This past Thursday, I babysat my three-year old niece while my sister attended BYU's forum by Condeleezza Rice. My niece and I hung out at BYU's Bean Museum where she most enjoyed the playroom, a display of ducks, and a picture of a buffalo that was, she informed me, actually a gruffalo.

Afterwards, we had lunch with my sister and brother and then talked for a bit before my sister dropped my brother and me back off on campus. The conversation turned into a discussion of Rice's talk. My niece quickly became bored as everyone's undivided attention was not centered on her. She dealt with her boredom at first by demanding chocolate: "MOMMMMMYYY! I want some CHOCOLAAAATE!"

When her pleas went unheeded, she changed her tactics. Rather than trying to turn the tide of the conversation, she decided to end it instead. "Everybody STOP TALKING!! STOP TALKING NOW! STOP TALKIIIIINNNG!!"

When I asked her why she needed everyone to stop talking? "Because I'm trying to sleep, and it's too loud!"

I laughed a little. She looked stern, and, after unsuccessfully asking me for some chocolate and for help stopping the conversation, put on a pouty face and said, "I'm getting upset!"

"You're getting upset?"

"Yes, I'm getting upset!"

I gave her some chocolate.

It's rough to be three.

New Oxford American Dictionary Word of the Year

NY Times: A Twitter Flub Becomes a Word of the Year

My question: How could Cookie Monster's nom nom lose to Sarah Palin's refudiate? I mean, seriously, did they read this definition?:

nom nom (informal) exclamation an expression of delight when eating. [origin — imitative; popularized by the noises made by the character Cookie Monster on Sesame Street (usually as “Om nom nom nom”)]